It is no more elitist to seek a similar educational and professional background than it is racist to seek a similar culture. Communication rests in being able to relate, to speak the same language, as it were, to inhabit a common horizon of meaning. It is to occupy the stage of life as co-protagonists, writing and rewriting scripts that authenticate and evolve. This is not a preamble to intolerance and close-mindedness. It is a reminder that certain paradigms of meaning are more rigid, more ossified than others. It is a reminder that some are stuck in the trenches of their epistemic pattern of negotiation. It is a reminder that one can surely find oneself mud-faced digging through the impossible terrain to find common ground. Don’t. Instead find someone you can connect with intellectually, existentially, emotionally, viscerally, and alithetically. And since this is near impossible, find someone that does not make you feel compromised.

2 thoughts on “Connecting

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  1. Hi Elly, good words here. Before I came to your page just now, I was reading the blog of a college roommate who had gone on to be a practicing psychologist-counselor (Ph.D. and more), as well as a pastor in the Evangelical Free Church. We were roommates in the very very distant past because we had a strong connection in the questions we asked and the ideas that would satisfy. When I started to read his words, the “at-home-ness” of our virtual conversation caught me off-guard. For many years I’ve been with a lot of people and found a lot in common with them all, but very rarely would I feel we “inhabit a common horizon of meaning.”

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