The Sisterhood


I discovered women late in life. Very much a Tom-boy most of my life, I felt totally out of step with so-called female banter about boys, what seemed to be endless conversation over finding the right top to make the right ensemble, and pow-wows to console Lydia on a bad hair day! I didn’t get it. The boys were awesome! They didn’t care about their hair, or matching their clothes, they didn’t wear make-up, some rarely bathed, and they didn’t rant endlessly over every little detail of their inter-human relations…in fact, there wasn’t much talking at all. And somehow our “brotherhood” was viscerally felt. This was my life almost exclusively comprised of male friends until my late 30s! What changed? I had children! And just like that I was ousted! Actually I slowly backed away from the circle leaving the group altogether. This had gone unnoticed for years, and though my male friends continued to be in my life, I wasn’t in theirs. Suddenly they were forced to reckon with the serious and harsh reality: I’m a girl! Gawd! That changed everything and never again could I bond with men as an equal partner without all of those annoying, though sometimes fascinating and exciting, inter-sexual tensions. All those “prejudiced” preoccupations my girlfriends knew about since their teens I was just being awakened to. As much as I adored (and continued to adore) men, I didn’t like who they were with women often times. As a woman negotiating relations with them came to be a task. It had to be negotiated. It’s taken me 15 years to connect the dots and see that I can’t think like a boy as a woman engaged in these inter-sexual relations. My sisters! My sisters always knew this! My sisters come from all walks of life, range in age, character, education, interests, professions and more. But we bring to each other an incredible sense of solidarity, empowering one another through the simple act of acceptance premised on mutual understanding. We get it. We are fragile, viscerally and intellectually sensitized beings who embrace the complexity called womanhood within the space of need and pride.



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